For a number of years Our Saviour’s hosted a Cancer Companions support group. Rita Amon was one of those who attended the very first session.
Rita wasn’t a member of Our Saviour’s, but she was a next door neighbor to Ray and Judie Wiebold, which is pretty close in my book. It was the Wiebolds who told Rita about Cancer Companions.
If my memory is correct, Rita had an unusual type of disease, cancer of the lining of her stomach. It eventually took her life.
I still remember one of the last times that Rita and I spoke. I visited her at home on December 13, 2016. The end was near. I thought long and hard about what to say to her. What did she need to hear? I ended up sharing a most unusual sermon. It was one that I couldn’t preach. It was delivered by a pastor who himself was dying from cancer when he stepped back into the pulpit to speak to the members of his congregation.
Here is a link to what Pastor James Van Tholen had to say:
After I read the sermon to Rita, she told me that it was a hard message to hear. I couldn’t disagree. Still, I thought it was a message she needed at that point.
Rita died on Christmas Eve, a reminder that death never takes a day off. I officiated at her funeral a few days later on December 30. Here is the sermon that I preached.
Rita’s Amen
Lord Jesus Christ,
You are for me medicine when I am sick.
You are my strength when I need help.
You are life itself when I fear death.
You are the way when I long for heaven.
You are light when all is dark.
You are my food when I need nourishment.
This prayer is attributed to St Ambrose, bishop of Milan
I came across it a few years ago. I can’t recall exactly how I found this old, old prayer, but I’m pretty sure Google had something to do with it. Since then I have used it on a number of different occasions. I did so two and a half weeks ago…with Rita.
Lord Jesus Christ,
You are for me medicine when I am sick.
You are my strength when I need help.
You are life itself when I fear death.
You are the way when I long for heaven.
You are light when all is dark.
You are my food when I need nourishment.
I shared this prayer with Rita on Tuesday, December 13. I had a difficult task that afternoon. It was my job to help Rita prepare for her death. I shared something else with Rita that day. I read a sermon to her. The sermon I shared had been preached by a young pastor named James Van Tholen. Van Tholen was just 33 when he stepped into the pulpit. Months earlier he had been diagnosed with an aggressive and deadly form of cancer. The young pastor’s sermon was entitled: Surprised by Death.
Pastor Van Tholen spoke to his congregation about his impending death. And then he simply but powerfully proclaimed the Good News of Jesus Christ. He did so using a brief passage from Romans 5 as his sermon text: While we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us.
I wanted to share the sermon with Rita in the hope that it would help her prepare for her own fast-approaching demise. When I was done reading the sermon, Rita simply said it was a hard sermon to hear. It was… but I prayed that it would help Rita as she faced her own end.
This morning we gather to remember Rita…and to mourn her passing. This past Monday morning I met with Pete and his sister Diane. We met to plan for this service. Tears were shed at the meeting, but there was laughter, too. Pete told me of the 30 years that he and Rita had been together. I heard of how Pete came to ask Rita out on a first date. He was helping a friend who was having trouble getting paid. Pete said that he knew someone on the inside. A classmate of his from school… The rest, as the saying goes, was history.
Pete and Diane also shared photos of Rita with a number of her beloved cats. And if a cat wasn’t in the picture, a book often was. Pete told me that he had 30 volumes to return to the library.
In planning for the funeral, I learned that Rita loved to bake—particularly at this time of year. Her favorite recipe was for homemade toffee. The key ingredient was 4 sticks of butter—not the Cub variety, mind you—but the more expensive Land O’Lakes kind. Pete shared with me that he and Rita loved the outdoors. They spent many a day up north hiking, then sipping wine. Sedona, Arizona was another favorite destination.
What about you? What are your favorite memories of Rita? One stands out for me. My wife Alaine and I were on our way to Judie Wiebold’s for a party. I parked on the street, in front of Pete and Rita’s house. Rita came straight up to me and gave me what may have been the longest hug I’ve received in my life—right there in the middle of the street.
Some of you may be wondering… How did a nice Catholic girl end up at a Lutheran church? It was cancer that brought Rita here—with the gentle encouragement of her neighbors: Pastor Ray and Judie Wiebold.
In the spring of 2014 Our Saviour’s launched a ministry called Cancer Companions. Rita came to the very first nine-week group. I loved Rita’s hearty laugh… I also loved her frank way of speaking.
Last month Judie told me that Rita was dying. I reached out to Pete and arranged for a visit. I continued my visits when Rita went back to the hospital. I saw her last Wednesday afternoon, and again on Thursday morning. Rita was preparing to go to Our Lady of Peace Hospice Center. The end was very near. As I drove to see Rita on Wednesday, I determined that I would read the Christmas story to her. I would simply remind her of the Savior who came to earth for her. I wanted to remind Rita of the Christian faith that has been passed along by generations of God’s people for almost 2000 years now. I wanted to remind Rita of the faith into which she had been baptized. And so I read to her the very same Gospel lesson you heard earlier (Luke 2:1-35)
Rita was in pain; she needed regular doses of morphine to keep her somewhat comfortable. Still, she managed a big smile when I sat down beside her. On Thursday she did the same. I told Rita that I wanted to talk to her about heaven. I shared with her that I wanted to avoid a mistake I made years ago, early in ministry.
I read to her from Revelation 21, the very same reading you have heard earlier. And then I prayed with Rita. Her eyes were closed. I couldn’t be sure if she had dozed off. As I closed the prayer I heard what would be her very last word to me. Only it wasn’t a word to me. It was a word she spoke to her God. A word that God’s people have used for more than 3000 years now. It was the simple word: Amen.
Amen. This is most certainly true.
Amen. Let it be so.
On Christmas morning I spoke of Rita at the end of my sermon. I closed the sermon with these words.
Our world needs a Savior more than ever.
Our nation needs a Savior more than ever.
Our neighbors need a Savior more than ever.
Last week Rita needed a Savior more than ever.
What about us? Isn’t the same true as well?
You and I need a Savior more than ever.
AMEN.
Ecclesiastes knew better than most what Isaiah was talking about. We all live in the land of the shadow on death. This is what the season of Advent is all about. We wait for the Light of the World’s return.
Amen.